


Goodbye Kiss

by HatlessHoneybee



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Matt Fractions hawkeye, Maybe OOC, Soldier Bucky, Strangers to Friends, friends to strangers, you tell me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-08-22 13:26:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16598768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HatlessHoneybee/pseuds/HatlessHoneybee
Summary: High school friends Clint and Bucky start to drift in College, but manage to drift even more when Bucky joins the army in their senior year after spending the night with Clint. Hurt by this, Clint leaves on his own to Iowa, managing to get picked up by the CIA as an agent. Upon returning home he is able to repair his friendships with Tony, Thor, Loki, and Bruce, but receives no word from Bucky despite multiple attempts to reach him. Things change when Steve returns home and Clint finds himself on edge, the group acting strange around him. After a long mission, Clint returns to find a sight he never thought he'd see: Bucky Barnes sitting on his couch. What will become of these friends turned strangers?





	1. Don't You Remember?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna be honest, I have no idea where I'm going with this. Every chapter will start and end with some lyrics taken from a new song each time that should hopefully fit the chapter. I really hope you guys like this as I have never attempted a multiple chapter story and this will be my first. Please be kind. I don't know when I'll update, but I'll try my best. Thank you so much.
> 
> I own nothing, all rights go to Marvel and Adele for the song. This is a work of pure fiction.
> 
> As always, self edited so please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes. Thank you so much!

_When will I see you again?_

_You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said_

_No final kiss to seal anything_

_And I had no idea of the state we were in_

Clint guessed it was his fault, in the whole scheme of things. A high school and college frienship can only withstand so many things. Apparently, leaving for the army after a one night stand with eachother wasn't one of those things. It didn't help when Clint was the first to rush off at the end of senior year, heading back to Iowa to deal with his brother.

When he came back to New York, his friends welcomed him, but they were shaky. Tony seemed a little more superficial, Thor a little more reserved, Bruce a little more placating. Clint felt like an outsider in his own group of friends.

It didn't help that Clint learned they all managed to keep in contact with Bucky, after he and Steve ditched Senior year of college to join the army, yet his old friend ignored all of Clint's correspondents.

A year back in New York and things were different. His boisterous personality managed to help him worm his way back into his group of friends, which now included Thor's brother, Loki. Things seemed alright, four years out of college. They kept in constant contact, which was crazy, considering their respective careers and Tony's growing business empire.

Then it changed again. And Clint knew he wasn't responsible for the change, but the way that Steve Rogers acted around him when the man (now bulky and the picture of health) returned from his four year stint in the military. He was stiff around Clint, awkward and superficial, like the way you would treat a tag along that you really wished would just go home.

It itched at him. Made him hurt in his chest. Which was stupid, because it wasn't his fault. It wasn't. Until it was.

"I don't know, Nat," Clint shrugged as he checked over his rifle for the hundredth time. He hated using firearms, but needs must and all that. His voice floated through the intercoms into the Russian's ear. "He acts like you would act to the chatty neighbour that you ran into at the mailbox and desperately wish would go away."

"So... how anyone who's met you would act?" Natasha joked, voice flat.

Clint mock laughed, perhaps a bit too hysterically while he climbed the tree. "Seriously, the guy's been back for like half a year and he still acts like I'm just some guy. Which is stupid, since I've known him since I was seventeen."

"Have you tried asking him?" She offered.

"Do you two know the meaning of the words 'radio silence'?" Coulson butted in. He knew they were professionals, the best he'd ever commanded, but he really didn't want this operation blown because some dumbass on patrol managed to hear Clint lament about his social life.

"Relax, sir," Clint answered him. He then returned his attention to Nat's question and finding a proper perch in the tree. "And no, I haven't asked him. Our group isn't known for emotional health. I'm pretty sure if you Googled 'unhealthy coping mechanisms' and 'co-dependency', a picture of us drinking would be the first result. Nat, hold off. You've got a guy around the corner."

"I can take-" He responce was cut off by supressed gunfire and the thump of a body hitting the ground. "Nevermind."

"Look, can you two talk about this on the helicopter? This would have been over five minutes ago if Clint hadn't been gesturing while he talked and tried to climb a tree."

They both took Coulson's advice and quickly finished out the mission. Natasha got the documents they were looking for and managed to dispose of the body that Clint had shot. It was only when they were being picked up about fifteen miles away by a helicopter that they were able to resume their conversation.

"It's gotten worse, too. Now the whole group is doing it," Clint grumbled, strapping himself into one of the seats.

"What do you mean?" Natasha asked, strapping herself in as well. The pilot waited for Coulson's signal before lifting off, pushing back drifts of snow that surrounded them. God, Clint hated it when they went somewhere cold.

He gave a soft shrug, almost unsure. It was the most vulnerable he had let himself be in ages and it startled him to realise that it was with Nat and Phil, not his friends. "Right before I left they were acting all weird and secretive, especially with Steve there. Everytime I came into a room they would get all quiet and change the subject, like I had walked in on some weird plan. I asked Bruce about it, and even _he_ wouldn't tell me."

"Maybe it'll be better when you get back," Natasha offered,"A little break from eachother can do a lot of good."

"Yeah, I guess," Clint shrugged. The sour topic was beginning to get to him. In an attempt to wipe the thoughts away, he turned a smirk on Nat. "Sense when did you get all wise."

"I've always been wise. It's women's intuition," She flipped a strand of red hair over her shoulder. "Particularly strong in me."

They shared a secret smile and switched the topic to happier things. By the time they landed, Clint was sore from both the mission and the ride. Exhaustion rolled off of him in waves and he couldn't bare to stick through mission debrief. So he snuck out, leaving the undercover CIA building and hailing a taxi to take him back to his apartment. Well, shared apartment. Thor lived there, too. And Steve was also sticking it out in the room that used to be Loki's, until he took some shady job and moved out on his own.

The taxi dropped him off in front of the building and Clint paid the guy then grabbed his stuff. Most people in the building had gotten used to his odd comings and goings, even getting used to the bow case that he took with him. Even his friends knew better than to ask questions, as they always got some vague yet completely bullshit (and exaggerated) story.

He pushed open the front door and began his ascent up the stairs. Clint never liked the elevator. Only one exit and too many chances for things to go bad. Plus, someone might hit his bow case.

He didn't have his hearing aids in. He always left them at home when he went on a mission, since he had to use special ones for the CIA anyways. So he didn't hear the chatter that stopped abruptly when he opened the door. He didn't hear the laughs that died and the one shaky breath drawn in.

Clint had his head down while he opened and closed the door, locking it behind him like he always did. It was a shock, then, turning and finding his friends smushed together on his couch. The real jaw-dropper was seeing long, dark hair covering a familiar but changed face. The face of one Bucky Barnes, friend, one-night stand, and now nothing.

Steve's mouth moved and then Thor's did, the group all lighting up with something like realisation. Bruce was the one to get up, going into Clint's room and coming out with two aids in the palm of his hand, held out to Clint.

They all knew sign language, learning for Clint, but this wasn't something they wanted to discuss like that. Clint wasn't even sure that he wanted to discuss it at all. From the way Bucky looked, he seemed just as unwilling to speak. In fact, he looked rather sick. Probably as sick as Clint felt himself.

No, Clint pushed Bruce's palm away and squeezed past the man. He didn't want to talk and he didn't want to hear his friends call out his name. Instead, he went straight into his room, locking the door behind him.

His bow remained in it's case, sat on the bed next to Clint who was in a clear state of shock. Bucky shouldn't be here. Steve said he had signed up again, he should be gone for years. Now, he was in Clint's living room, obviously having been there awhile from the way that their friends seemed so at ease, like they had already gotten the excitement of his return out of their systems and were slowing down.

He looked a mess, he knew. Clint always looked like shit when he came back from a mission. This time he looked cold and angry, his skin still red-bitten and some of the scrapes and dirt from the mission had yet to clear.

Autopilot soon took over and Clint stripped grabbed a towel and went into his bathroom. His room was the only one in the apartment with it's own bathroom. It had been agreed that he would have his own while the brothers shared back when Thor, Loki, and Clint had first started renting the place.

He stripped out of his clothes, letting his snow-camo fall to the floor of the bathroom while he turned on the shower. For the first twenty minutes, he sat on the floor of the shower, letting the water heat his body and bring him out of shock. Then he stood and washed, wearily wiping the soap off his face and tenderly shampooing his now aching head.

When he was finished he pulled on a pair of jeans and an old sweatshirt, still feeling the chill in his bones. Next, he put his bow away, stowing it safely in the actual safe that he had bought specifically for it. Everyone had raised their eyebrows at the purchase but excused it because, hey, it was Clint.

Lastly, he pulled his hood over his head, grabbed his wallet, tucked his feet into a pair of sneakers and left the room. A few of his friends made movements when he came back through, Steve jumping up, along with Bruce. Bucky remained seated, his eyes downcast.

Clint snatched up the aids that Bruce had left on the counter and put them in, turning slightly to his friends, though his hood obscured his face. His voice betrayed nothing, something he had learned from his profession and Natasha. "I forgot something at work. I'll be back later. Don't wait up."

"Clint, wait-"

"We're sorry-"

The voices of Steve and Bruce respectively were cut off by Clint closing the door behind him. He jogged down the stairs and out into the street, the fresh air entering his lungs with a gasp. With shaking hands he flagged down a cab and rattled off an address from memory.

Twenty minutes later he was standing in front of an apartment, Natasha Romanoff's concerned face looking him up and down.

"He's back, Nat," Clint managed to get out. "He's back and I need... I don't know what I need."

_When was the last time you thought of me?_

_Or have you completely erased me from your memories?_

_'Cause I often think about where I went wrong_

_And the more I do, the less I know_


	2. Goodbye Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky tries to reason with himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, it all belongs to Marvel and Kasabian.
> 
> Thank you!

_Doomed from the start_

_We met with a goodbye kiss, I broke my wrist_

_It all kicked off, I had no choice_

_You said that you didn't mind 'cause love's hard to find_

_Maybe the days we had are gone, living in silence for too long_

_Open your eyes and what do you see?_

_No more laughs, no more photographs_

Bucky knew that it wouldn't be easy. He knew his choice would have consequences but it was the right one. If something happened to him overseas, well it was best that Clint mourned for an old friend rather than a lover. So he left him that night and made Steve swear on his mothers grave that he wouldn't talk about Bucky at all to Clint.

Steve agreed, as did the rest of the group.

But seeing the look on Clint's face when he came in, toting a bow case and winter camoflauge, a wave of guilt washed over him like a waterfall. Clint wouldn't even look Bucky in the eye, not that Bucky was doing much better.

They watched as Clint went into his room and emerged near half an hour later. No one seemed to speak during that time, Bucky only able to listen to the sound of the shower and then the opening of the door.

He couldn't even see Clint's face, blocked by the hoodie that he used. His words were muttered, only answered by Steve and Bruce. He knew that Bruce would say something, as he always seemed to end up the therapist of the group, at least that hadn't changed. Of course, when you're best friend was Tony Stark, it was hard not to end up as some form of problem counselor.

Bucky watched the flicker of guilt that flashed over Steve's face as the door closed, his best friend hesitently sat back down. But it was Bucky who should feel guilty. It's just, he didn't expect to come back from the desert. And he certainly hadn't expected to be put up with Steve in an apartment that Thor shared with Clint.

"Do not worry!" Thor had boomed, his voice as loud as Bucky remembered. "Clint is often gone for work. I'm sure you won't have to worry about his return for some time."

What a load of bullshit. Sure, Bucky had been here for two weeks now, but Thor acted like Clint came and went as a ghost. Like he would hardly be there at all. Like there would be time to come up with a plan before Clint returned. But his time had been taken up by all the rush of returning home and the doctor visits.

"Ah, I should try and stop this while I can," Thor scratched at his newly cut hair before rising from his seat. He seemed to be somber, snatching up his cell phone and typing furiously. "Perhaps, he will help."

Bucky stood up abruptly, shaking the coffee table and causing everyone to stare at him. "I'm gonna go to bed."

"Bucky, wait," Steve stood with him, intending to help, as he always did.

"I'm fine, Steve," Bucky shook his head. "Just tired."

He shook off his friends and headed into the room that he shared with Steve. It used to be Loki's, some guy that Bucky and Steve had yet to meet. Apparantly, he was Thor's brother and used to live in the room. Tony swore the room had a bad aura because of him and warned both Steve and Bucky about staying there.

Flopping onto the twin bed that had been brought in for Bucky, he looked up at the cieling. Every inch of him felt terrible, but not in the physical sense that he was used to. It was in a way he hadn't felt since that night all those years ago.

He remembered a young Clint, face peaceful as he slept. The blankets draped low, revealing his muscled back. Bucky had always admired the way that archery affected Clint's upper body. That night he spent a great deal of time running his hands over the toned muscle.

It was nearly dawn when Bucky dragged himself from his spot next to Clint. He had to report for duty soon, not that anyone besides Steve knew that. He placed a kiss on Clint's jaw and tousled his hair one last time, smiling as the beginnings of daylight filtered in through the window.

Bucky left after that, never looking back, though he wanted to. He kept in contact with some of the members from their group. Steve wrote more letter than he ever did, but there was the occasional phone call or email sent. None of them were ever to Clint.

He knew his reasons wouldn't be understand. He knew that now it was all a moot point, he had made it home alive. But still, part of him was left in the sand and Clint deserved better than a one armed wreck.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Steve had asked as he sat by Bucky's side in that hospital in Germany. The papers sending him home were still clenched in his fist. "It was one thing when we were over in the desert, but we're both going home. We can't avoid him forever."

"I'll figure something out," Bucky had said, eyes closed. His head pounded and he didn't want to deal with this right now. "For now, just please keep a lid on it around him."

"But, Buck, I really think it'd be better if you-"

"Stevie, please!" He only used that old nickname when he was desperate. Steve had shut his mouth with an audible click and the subject was dropped.

Coming home didn't afford him any time to figure things out either. Everyone was so happy to have him, so concerned over his arm, so desperate to have their word in that Bucky was constantly being engaged by someone. The only respite he got was sleep and even then he was rattled with nightmares.

But that look on Clint's face, the disappointment and anger. It only cemented further Bucky's belief that Clint was better without him. So sitting there, in that dark room of his old friends apartment, Bucky decided, yeah, he might have to co-habitate with Clint, but that meant nothing.   
It was decided then. Clint didn't need this. He didn't need him.

_Turning slowly, looking back, see_

_No words can save this, you're broken and I'm pissed_

_Run along like I'm supposed to, be the man I ought to_

_Rock and Roll, sent us insane_

_I hope someday that we will meet again_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter. The next one will introduce Loki into the story and also go back to Clint's point of view.
> 
> The song used is "Goodbye Kiss" by Kasabian, but I recommend listening to the Lana Del Rey version, as that's what I based it off of. Also, it's also the inspiration for the title of the whole story.


	3. Lost My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint finds solace in his friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the 3rd chapter.
> 
> As always, I own nothing. All right to Marvel and Lily Allen.

_I caught some feelings_

_Now I sense a change_

_Something beautiful has slipped away_

_I let you in and then you disappear_

_Like the dying of another day_

_I was never planning on_

_Any of this chaos_

_I wasn't being difficult_

_But you still betrayed us_

"I see," Natasha nodded, reaching up towards the cabinet for the really good vodka that she kept hidden away. It was direct from Russia, a little village and Clint had only tasted it once, when he and Loki broke up. "So you never heard from him again?"

"No. No one ever told me anything about him, either," Clint shrugged. "For a little bit I let it go. You know, when we were in Budapest. I had other things to worry about. But, seeing him here. I don't know... it makes my chest feel shitty."

"You didn't give him a chance to explain?"

"What shitty excuse could he have?" Clint turned a glare to her. Natasha kept her composure, shrugging instead.

"I don't know. That's why I asked." She took two glasses down and poured a couple of fingers each, sliding one to Clint and knocking the other back herself. "In any case, you can stay here for as long as you want."

"Thanks, Nat," He sent her a ghost of a smile.

"You're always welcome, Clint," for a moment her expression turned soft. "You know that."

Clint nodded, sipping at the drink. He could drink with the best of them, but whatever Natasha had pulled out of that cabinet always seemed to be too much for him. Then, of course, most things lately seemed to be too much for him.

"I'm just tired," He handed her the remains of his drink, which she swallowed as easily as water. "I just wanna go to bed."

"You know where everything is," Nat nodded towards her bedroom. The apartment she lived in was a nice one bedroom. It was minimal, as Natasha always kept things. No photos were displayed and she had no plants. The tones were earthy, nothing extravagent. It was more of a stopping point in her eyes then anything. Clint knew that she found her home in people, not places. Him, among them.

Clint nodded and headed off to her bedroom, going to the dresser where there was a drawer specifically for him. He pulled out a pair of sweats and kicked off his shoes, exchanging the jeans for the sweats. Tugging the sweatshirt over his head, he let it drop to the floor and went over to the bed, pulling the covers back.

His phone beeped, signaling a text message. Part of him wanted to ignore it, thinking it would be one of the guys trying to explain themselves or get him to come home, neither of which were gonna happen. However, curiosity won over and he reached for it. He wanted to see what these so called "friends" had to say for themselves.

**From Loki** My dear archer, why in the fuck is my brother texting me incessently about you having some sort of emotional breakdown?

That was a surprise. Thor was Loki somehow always managed to keep in touch with everyone, appearing out of nowhere, but he was closest with Thor and Clint. In fact, the two had a long fling that they managed to hide from everyone, stretching almost eleven months. It was the most Clint had let himself get attatched since Bucky left. The breakup was a little dramatic, as all things with Loki were, but it was mutual and in the end, Clint still considered him his closest friend, aside from Natasha.

**From Loki** Could it be because a certain soldier has returned home and you still haven't learned how to let go of useless one night stands?

Clint sucked in a breath. Loki could still be harsh.

**To Loki** Fuck off!!! Its not just cuz of the 1 night stand thing. all those asshole lied

**From Loki** Where are you, you pathetic man?

**To Loki** Not at home you greasy asshole!

**From Loki** Striking out at the ones you love? How unseemly. I want to meet.

Clint sighed. Yeah, it might do good to talk to Loki. After all, he was the last person that Clint was intimate with, both physically and emotionally. But he was just to tired to do it now.

**To Loki** I need to sleep. I just got back from Alaska. Tomorrow?

**From Loki** Fine. The usual place. 2 o'clock. Don't make me wait.

Clint scrolled through his phone, seeing a few messages from the guys. The one that was most believable was one from Tony, saying he wasn't happy about the whole situation and he didn't even like Bucky to begin with, but he did it for Steve. That was plausable. Anyone who knew the pair knew they had it bad for eachother, not that they'd ever acknowledge it.

Clint turned his phone off and tossed it on the floor next to his sweatshirt before climbing into Natasha's bed. It was fifteen minutes later that another pajama clad body slipped under the covers. Her toned arms wrapped around his curled up form as Natasha hummed Russian lullabies until he could get his head to quiet enough for sleep.

He would deal with it tomorrow. For now, he was safe. He had Nat and Loki. He was safe.

_You wouldn't give me closure_

_Let me get off the ride_

_And now I'm getting closer_

_To the other side_

_Now I'm stuck in a rut, kicking stones_

_Looking at my phone all night_

_Maybe I've lost my mind_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it, and I hope that I portrayed Loki well enough. He is a sort of good guy In this. He's definitely on Clint's side but he lives a shady life.
> 
> The song I used is "Lost my Mind" by Lily Allen


	4. Please Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint meets with Loki and comes up with a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing. All rights to Marvel and Joel Adams

_'Cause I don't ever want to know_

_Don't ever want to see things change_

_'Cause when I'm living on my own_

_I'll wanna take it back and start again_

_Most nights I pray for you to come home_

_Praying to the Lord_

_Praying for my soul_

Clint woke barely in time for his meeting with Loki. Nat had stayed with him most of the night and scowled every time his phone beeped with another excuse from his "friends". It was only when she got a text from Loki himself reminding her to remind Clint that she gently shook him from his sleep and urged him to change.

Slipping on a pair of jeans and his sneakers, Clint kept the t-shirt he slept in on, not feeling like changing it and kissed Natasha goodbye, promising that he'd be back later. She waved him off and told him to enjoy his time with Loki, but not too much, earning an eye roll and the ghost of a smirk.

Clint managed to hail a cab, taking it to the pretentious coffee shop that he knew Loki loved. It was their typical meeting spot, as Loki refused to be seen anywhere below his standards, which seemed impossibly high. Clint always thought he was a bit of a diva, even during their tryst.

"So, have a seat and tell me what's gotten everyone so uptight they had to drag me into it," Loki said his greeting with a great amount of annoyance in his voice, watching as Clint lazily pulled out a chair and plopped into it. Loki was sipping tea and picking at a muffin. He hadn't gotten Clint anything, as usual. That would have been far to thoughtful.

"Bucky is back and no one told me," Clint huffed, crossing his arms. He slouched in his chair, sulking with the best of them. "I walked into the house, fresh from a mission and they just stared at me, Bucky sitting with them like there was nothing shady going on."

"Ah, so the magnificent James Barnes has returned," Loki smirked, leaning back in his chair. "Judging from you're pouty reaction, I'm assuming you're still carrying a torch for the man. Otherwise, you wouldn't be sulking like some mewling quim. You'd be home, acting as ridiculous as ever."

"Asshole," Clint huffed, no other retort, because Loki was right and he knew it. "I don't know why I came to talk to you."

"Because you love me," His smirk grew, a hand coming up to wipe at some imaginary speck on his imaculate black suit. "And you have no one besides that red-headed she-devil to talk to. It is always best to get two perspectives."

"And what's your perspective?"

"That you shouldn't ask advice about grudges from the man who avoids his father, disappoints his mother and barely responds to his elder brother," Loki shrugged, averting his gaze in a rare fit of honesty. It was gone in a flash.

"That's all you've got?"

"I assume the She-devil offered her space? Move in with her. It's best to sever ties in situations like that. No one is worth that much time and effort."

Clint was already shaking his head. "Nat doesn't have enough room. I don't wanna put her out more than I already have."

"Then I suppose you'll just have to deal with it or find your own place, like I did."

"That's not a bad idea. I'm sure Thor will need the space with four of us in a three bedroom now."

That was the moment the teacup hit it's saucer harshly and Loki's tone took on venom. "Are you telling me that those imbecile soldiers have taken over my room?"

"What do you care? You don't live there anymore."

"That doesn't mean I want those brutes destroying what used to be my sanctuary," Loki sniffed, finishing off his tea.

"Diva."

"Trash."

"Text you later?"

"Of course," and with that, Loki slipped on his coat and fluttered out the door as dramatically as he always did. Clint shook his head, went up to the barist and ordered himself a black coffee and a brownie to go.

He decided to walk back to Nat's, giving her some time to herself and for him to think over his situation. It was probably a good idea to move. If he was really desperate, he was sure that Tony had some place in his tower that Clint could stow himself in, but he didn't really feel like being around part of the Steve fan-club right now.

Finally making it back to Nat's Clint explained the whole situation to her. She offered once again to house him, but respected his decision to go back and do things himself. Face his past before running from it.

"I understand," She nodded.

"Besides," Clint gave a shrug. "We'll be going on missions, too. I'll probably hardly be there while looking for a new place. I'll be out and back to normal before you know it."

_I send so many messages you don't reply_

_I gotta figure out what am I missing babe_

_Singing now oh oh oh_

_And I need you now, I need your love oh oh oh_

_Now please don't go_

_Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone_

_Now please don't go, oh no_

_I think of you whenever I'm alone_

_So please don't_

_Please don't go_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope I didn't screw Loki up too much. I took his and Clint's role together in the movie and put here in a different way. Here they were in a twisted sort of relationship that wasn't really healthy for either of them, but they eventually pushed past that and became friends, not that Loki would ever admit it lol.
> 
> Thank you all for continuing to read my trash! The song I used is "Please don't go" by Joel Adams


	5. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint comes home with Loki and the guys feel bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing. All rights to Marvel and Halsey

_I've missed your calls for months it seems_

_Don't realize how mean I can be_

_'Cause I can sometimes treat the people_

_That I love like jewelry_

_'Cause I can change my mind each day_

_I didn't mean to try you on_

_But I still know your birthday_

_And your mother's favorite song_

Bucky was surprised to find Clint Barton walking into the apartment, two days later with a dark haired man in tow. The man had hair to his shoulders, slightly greasy looking and was wearing an impecible black and green suit. The look on his face was one of disdain, which quickly turned to one of disgust when he took a breath.

"Gods," He groaned, slipping off a long black coat and hanging it by the door with an air of familiarity. The green scarf was yanked from his neck and dragped over the coat. "That God-awful smell tells me Thor is still airing out his gym clothes in the window."

"You know Thor," Clint shrugged.

"Unfortunately, I do," The man set his eyes on Bucky, who was laying on the couch and watching Dog Cops. The apartment was empty besides him. Steve had gone out for coffee with some guy he met at the VA. Tony had heard of said coffee date and had been locked in his lab at the tower ever since. And Thor was off supervising an emergency at his brewing company.

An odd mixture of a smirk and a sneer appeared on the man's face as he came further into the room, pulling off leather gloves. "I don't remember you around here."

Bucky felt like his hackles should be raised. Clint was busy taking off his own winter wear, though Bucky had a sneaking suspicion that Clint wouldn't have paid him much mind anyways. Bucky knew that everyone had tried to give their excuses for his sudden appearance, but they had been ignored. Bucky, himself, had given no excuse for he had none. Every excuse he had before was useless now that he was alive and done with the army.

"Bucky Barnes," He rose up from his chair. He could spot that way that Clint's eyes went to the empty sleeve at his side, likely noticing it for the first time. Both ignored it. Instead, Bucky kept his eyes on the tall, dark man in front of him.

A snide chuckle left the man's lips. "It won't come up again. I, however, am Loki Laufeyson. Rest assured, my name will be heard again. It used to be said in moans."

His eyes turned to Clint, a smirk on his lips. Clint's cheeks turned scarlet and he punched Loki in the arm.

"You're Thor's brother," Bucky stated the obvious, but it seemed to gather some irritation from the man. Well, at least he wasn't infalible.

"Yes, and you're the little soldier sleeping in my room," Loki managed to make Bucky feel small with his tone alone. "Though, I imagine you might be able to take Clint's room in not too long."

"What?" Bucky sputtered, turning to look at Clint. The man was wringing his hands before shrugging.

"I was hoping to talk to Thor first," Clint hissed at Loki who simply arched an eyebrow. "But, yeah, I'm looking for my own place now. I mean, I'm almost thirty."

"Yeah, but Thor says you're always gone," Bucky sidestepped Loki, ignoring him completely. His heart ached, knowing that it was likely his fault Clint was choosing to do this. "There's no point in paying on your own place if you'll never be there."

Clint shrugged. "My partner does it. Why can't I? Loki and I are just stopping here until we go to a few viewings."

"Wait a second,"

"Sorry, Binky," Loki put an arm around Clint's waist and began leading him away. "We've got things to attend to. Enjoy your evening."

Bucky watched the pair of them go in awe, unable to completely process what had just happened. When he gained the ability to move again, Bucky surged towards his cell phone and started up a group chat, needing to get the word out.

**From Bucky:** Guys Clint and Thor's brother just showed up to announce that Clint is planning on moving out

It took a few minutes, but soon there was a bursting of text messages, forcing Bucky to turn his phone down to stop the irritating beeping.

**From Thor:** WHAT?! I'VE HEARD OF NO SUCH PLANS. ALLOW ME TO CONTACT MY BROTHER

**From Tony:** Ur joking right??? Barnes this is your shitty attempt at humor right???

**From Bruce:** Guys, Clint has a right to do as he pleases.

**From Tony:** But Y

**From Bucky** Cuz of me. It's totally cuz of me. It's all my fault

**From Steve:** Sorry for joinng late, but Clint can't leave. And Bucky, it's not you!! If anything, it's me. We've been having problems since I got back.

**From Bucky:** Becuz of what I made you do

**From Thor:** FRIENDS, I HAVE SPOKEN TO MY BROTHER AND IT IS TRUE. OUR FRIEND CLINT INTENDS TO LEAVE US.

**From Tony:** Well weve gotta stop him

**From Bruce** Tony, we can't do that. We're supposed to be supportive.

**From Tony** And I'm supporting his staying. Everyone with me say aye

**From Steve** Aye!

**From Thor** AYE!

**From Bruce** I guess, but how?

**From Bucky** Steve and I should figure something out.

**From Steve** On my way! Keep him there.

_I run away when things are good_

_And never really understood_

_The way you laid your eyes on me_

_In ways that no one ever could_

_And so it seems I broke your heart_

_My ignorance has struck again_

_I failed to see it from the start_

_And tore you open 'til the end_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The song I used is "Sorry" by Halsey.


	6. End Up Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Clint apartment hunt, secrets are revealed, a damn of anger breaks, and a tryst is rekindled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, all rights to Marvel and Lucy Rose

_How am I meant to go to sleep_

_When I know you're so close to me_

_Say it ain't so, my darling_

_'Cause I don't think I believe it_

_And I fall asleep in indecision_

_And I close my eyes and wish for your embrace_

_But I fall asleep not knowing_

_Whether you were waiting for me all night long_

Clint stared into the black coffee that steamed in his cup, chin resting on one hand. Across from him, Loki was adding a dollop of honey to the green tea he had ordered. There was a lemon poppy seed muffing inbetween them, bought by Loki though he was secretly hoping to charm Clint with it. It seems his depression had affected his eating habits, something Loki both noticed and had been told by the She-devil.

"Did any of those buildings catch your interest?" Loki raised an eyebrow, scrolling through the real estate site they used on his phone. It was already seven o'clock at night, the autumn sun casting it's last light through the skyline. They had spent the whole day looking at cheap apartments and expensive apartments. Loki had insisted they check the good ones, even though Clint claimed he only wanted a cheap place to crash.

"I happened to enjoy that Brooklyn listing," Loki continued, having garnered no answer from his companion.

Clint made a face at that. "No way! Too hipstery. It made me feel like some douchebag in a infinity scarf was gonna pop out and start a conversation about Van Gogh."

Loki rolled his eyes, feeling as if Clint was exaggerating. It was a nice listing, clean and definitely upper middle class. It's not like Clint couldn't afford it. Only Loki and Natasha were privy to the amount of cash that Clint had hidden away somewhere. It had something to do with Russians and track-suits, Loki was hardly listening at the time.

"Maybe you should take the She-Devil with you next time," Loki suggested, taking a sip of his tea.

Clint shook his head. "No, I don't wanna put Nat out more than I already have. Plus, she'd just agree with you and make me rent some place I don't want."

"You don't want her to go out of her way, but you're perfectly happy to drag me across the city," Loki muttered with a scathing look.

"You know me! I'm always happy to be a thorn in your side," Clint smiled innocently. Loki half wanted to choke him, but it was the first genuine smile he had seen on Clint's face in awhile, so he let it slide.

"I suppose, if you really like, there's an extra room in my apartment," Loki turned his head when he said this, his eyes narrowed into a glare at nothing in particular. "I don't use it, and it's better than the shit places you've been thinking of. At least this way I'll know you don't have roaches crawling over your face while you sleep."

"Aww," Clint leaned forward, place his chin on both hands now, blinking his eyes prettily at Loki. It was close to the same look he flashed Loki when trying to flirt 'innocently' with him, if only to see the man get that irritated look on his face. "Do you care about me, Loki? Have I finally won you're heart after all this time?"

"I don't have a heart, Darling," Loki crossed his legs. "And if I did, I woulnd't give it to someone as cheap as you. I simply don't want that she-demon having any reason to beat down my door. I'm certain she would if I let you go on living this way or picking one of those shit apartments."

Clint leaned back in his chair and gave Loki a studying look. "If you're serious, I'll think about it."

"Fine," Loki took another sip of his green tea and subtly slid the muffin closer to Clint. "Give me a warning before you come so I can ready the room. Right now it's a storage area."

"Deal," Clint gave a half smile.

"What are we 'deal'ing about?" A new voice joined the mix and both looked up to see Tony Stark standing before them, his Metallica shirt covered with a sweater, the hood pulled up to fight against the autumn wind. His eyebrow was raised and he quickly shoved Clint over in the booth to make room for himself.

"I believe this is a private conversation, Stark," Loki sneered at the man, dragging his tea closer as if it might be infected by the air around Tony.

"Yeah, but this is a public place and Clint's my friend, so chill out, greasy," Tony flicked his gaze over to Clint who had lost his smile and looked more weary than before.

"Friends?" Loki raised an eyebrow. "Funny, I wouldn't think you would be the type to lie to your friend for years about the life and whereabouts of another friend. That seems like a hurtful thing to do to poor Clint. But then, what do I know? Maybe that's just how "friends" operate."

Tony was giving Loki a death glare while the man sipped nonchallantly at his tea. "You're right, you wouldn't know. You don't have friends."

"And I certainly wouldn't want any if they act like your lot," Loki replied smoothly, the traces of a smirk on his lips. Clint felt his heart swell a little to know that his old flame still defended him. He was lucky to have friends like Loki and Natasha.

"Well, you'll probably never find out," Tony said, then turned entirely towards Clint, ignoring Loki completely. "I heard you were looking for a place to move out to. I have to say I wholly don't approve. You'll be so far from us and we can't have that. You're our Clint. Who else is gonna eat everyone else's food and make ridiculous jokes?"

"Well, you've got two new additions to the group. Why don't you can see if one of them can fill my place?" Clint asked, turning his hard eyes to Tony.

"Come on, Clint. I never would have lied to you. I didn't want to but Steve said it was for the best-"

"And Steve always knows what's best, doesn't he?" Clint challenged. "He knew what was best for me for over four years. You all did."

His tone was accusatory, acid building in it the more he thought on their prediciment. "But what's it matter? I'm the expendable guy, right? That's probably what Bucky thought that night."

"What night?" Tony furrowed his eyebrows.

"The night before they left," Clint looked a little lost now. "Back in college, the night before Bucky and Steve left, I slept with Bucky."

"Really?"

"Yeah, man. He was gone the next morning, no note, no text. Felt pretty shitty."

"That's 'cause it is pretty shitty," Tony reached up to rub at his goatee. "Jesus, Clint, if I had known I never would have helped them with all this secrecy bullshit. In fact, I'm gonna give those assholes a piece of my mind!"

"No," Clint shook his head and finished off his coffee. "I don't wanna come between you and Steve. I know how you feel about him. I'm not gonna be a shitty friend just 'cause he was."

"Well, look, if you need a place to stay I got a whole floor with your name on it," Tony offered, a friendly smile on his face. "And don't think I'll be letting this go. I'll talk with the others. I'm sure you'll get all the apologies in the world."

"I don't want 'em," Clint pushed Tony out of the booth and got out himself. "I want to be left alone for awhile. I'll stay with Thor til I find a place, but it won't take me long to get my shit together. After that, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. I just know that I can't live with all that shit in the same apartment. I'll see you guys later."

Behind him he heard Loki ask how Stark managed to find them in the first place, to which Tony haughtily said he could track any phone in the world, earning a snide comment from Loki.

Clint braced himself against the wind, wrapping his scarf tightly around his neck and began his attempts to flag down a cab. When he finally got one, he gave them Thor's address, knowing he would have to go back at some point.

The car ride seemed entirely too short and soon Clint was shivering in front of the building, debating on turning around going back to Nat's or maybe even Loki. The man might be up for a bit of angry sex. It wasn't the first time that one of them was dealing with personal issues and took it out on eachother, even after the breakup and he was sure it wouldn't be the last.

"Clint?" He was startled out of his reverie, turning to face the one who called his name and finding Steve Rogers about fifteen feet away. There was a paper bag in his arms, stuffed with groceries and a pained expression on his face.

"Hey, man," Clint tried to remain casual.

"Are you okay?" Steve took a step forward.

"Yeah," Clint lied, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. "Just left my keys at home."

Steve closed in and began taking out the key Thor had given him within his first few days of living with them. "You could have buzzed the intercom. Bucky's up there."

Clint shrugged. "Guess it just didn't occur to me."

"Well, let's get inside. I wanted to talk to you anyway."

"Look, man," Clint started as they ascended the stairs. "I'm not really looking to talk. I'm tired, I just spent the day running around half of New York and getting yapped at by real estate agents. I just wanna shower and go to sleep."

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. What _we_ wanted to talk to you about," Steve reached up and scratched the back of his neck. They made it to their floor and opened up the door to the apartment. The lights were on and Steve went straight to the kitchen. "Bucky and I both want you to know that we don't want you to move out. I'm sorry we lied to you, but we used to be really good friends and I think it'll be good for us all to stay together again. It'll be like old times."

Halfway through the conversation, Bucky had entered the kitchen, eyes shifting back and forth between Steve and Clint. His face was tight and he could see Clint's body language shifting into defense mode.

"No offense, Rogers," the use of Steve's last name was startling. "But to you and Barnes it may seem like time stopped, stuck over there, but it didn't stop here. Bruce is working on his seventh PhD, Tony is running a company, Thor's started his own Brewery, and I've got my own work that takes up most of my time. I'm not interested in rebuilding some magical friendship like you want to. Maybe the others buy into that shit, but I won't. I'm gonna stay here til I go somewhere else. I'm gonna say 'fuck it' to whatever shit you think we need to air out, and I'm gonna live my life, like the grown ass man I am. 'Kay?"

Steve was stunned, mouth open and hands still in the grocery bag. He didn't get to gape for long because Clint was already moving out of the kitchen and around the corner to the hallway. He threw open the door and tore the scarf on his neck, about to kick off his boots when he heard the door click shut behind him. Turning, he came face to face with Bucky.

"It's not Steve's fault," were the first words out of his mouth after they stared for a moment. "I made him lie."

"Bullshit," Clint hissed. "Everyone has a choice. Left or right, strawberry or chocolate. Lie to one of your best fucking friends for over for years or tell the truth!"

"Just don't take it out on him. This is between you and me-"

"See that's the problem," Clint advanced on Bucky, his tone cutting. "There is no _you and me_! You made that pretty fucking clear when you left that morning without so much as a note! Now you come back and think you can apologize and shits alright? That's not how it works when you fuck someone over! So I'm gonna be fucking civil, for the sake of Thor, Bruce and Tony, but don't expect a pretty reunion. And don't expect me to stick around for this shitstorm. Whatever happened between us is over. It clearly didn't mean a fucking thing to you, so I'm gonna do my best to make sure it doesn't mean shit to me. You moved on and so will I. Now, get out. I'm tired."

Bucky's eyes were closed for half the tirade. He had never heard Clint go off on someone like that. His heart clenched for the man who used to be all smiles and dorky jokes. For the man that he ruined when he left that day. So he stood there and took it, because saying it meant something to Clint and he deserved it. When he was done, Bucky opened his eyes and ignored the wetness that traveled down his cheeks.

He cleared his throat before speaking, eyes staring at Clint's back. "I truly am sorry, Clint. Really."

"Fuck your sorry," Clint stated with finality. Bucky looked down and left the room, going straight to his own and locking the door. No one was around to see him wipe his eyes and he was happy for that.

Clint, himself, stripped down and spent an unusual amount of time in the shower, sitting on the floor with his arms draped over his knees and the water coming down on him like a hot rain. The glass door was steamed up, obscurring any outside views of his body. When the water turned cold, Clint shut it off and stood up, wrapping a towel securely around his waist.

He went into his bedroom and dragged on his grey flannel pajama bottoms and an old worn-out North Face t-shirt. He did all the things he did before going to sleep, brushing his teeth, making sure his aids were in their container, checking all the windows and door. He fell into bed, hearing the quiet lull of conversation in the living room. For Clint to be able to hear it all the way in his room, they had to be speaking rather loudly.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, switching positions at least ten times, throwing the blankets off and then dragging them back on. He sighed and sat up, looking at the clock. It was nearing one in the morning and there was no way he was getting to sleep. He could take some of the sleeping pills that Bruce had managed to get for Tony and accidentally left here. But he didn't like being drugged. It dulled his senses and if something happened he needed to be at his best.

Besides, he was too stirred up. There was a fire in his chest and he had only one idea on how to help dampen it. Clint leapt from bed and slipped on his boots, grabbing a hoodie from his drawer and dragging it over his head. He put in his aids and left the room. Passing through the living room, he could see that Thor had come home and was speaking to Steve with the help of Bruce. Sometimes Clint wondered if those two had something going on, but he didn't think too much on it. He spied for work, not at home.

The room silenced when he came in, so he knew they were talking about him, but he didn't care. "I'll be back, maybe. Don't wait up for me." His tone was more aggressive than usual, so no one challenged him. Besides, Thor had an idea where he was going, so he needn't worry.

Clint cabbed it to one of the upper class neighborhoods, looking out of place in his pajamas and hoodies. He got past the doorman who knew Clint by name after almost a year of dating Loki. The elevator ride up seemed to take too long. When the doors opened, Clint practically dashed down the hallway and began pounding on apartment 3. There was loud cursing and then the door was flung open.

Loki had never looked so appetizing, his long dark hair falling softly in his face, free of product. The black pajama pants hung low on his narrow waist and his lack of t-shirt showed the slim but chiseled muscle definition.

"Barton, what the hell do you-" His sentence was cut off by a pair of hot lips on his. One of Clint's hands rested on his hip while the other tangled in his hair. Loki fisted Clint's t-shirt and took control of the kiss, shoving him against a wall and using his tongue to invade a mouth he was most familiar with. When they parted, Clint was panting, but his eyes were fierce. Loki nodded. "Alright then."

The front door was closed and the pair moved to the bedroom, movements still hot and rushed. They fell on the bed in a tangle of limbs, rough and frenzied. Loki understood, as he pinned Clint's wrists above his head. He knew what he needed.

_Watch the moon move across the sky_

_How I'd hoped you'd move to me_

_I've never been the type to wait around_

_Now I know it's time to leave_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos I'm glad you guys are liking it. I really liked this chapter and I wanted to ask you all your opinion on whether the story should end with ClintxLoki or ClintxBucky.. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!


	7. Try Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint receives some form of comfort from Loki, tells the guys his plans, then gets called into work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all the feedback I'm getting guys! Love it! You all made very good points, but I've decided to go with Bucky/Clint. I love Loki and his character is so amazing, but a lot of you have mentioned that their relationship was not healthy and I want to promote only healthy relationships. I hope I portray their friendship as somewhat healthy. However, in this chapter, the song actually is about the relationship between Clint and Loki rather than the usual Bucky and Clint. Next chapter will go back to normal. 
> 
> As usual, I own nothing. All rights to Marvel and Lana Del Rey.

_Can't put my finger on it_

_But I know I want it_

_I'm willing to try another way_

_That is, if I get by another day_

_Back and forth, I don't get anywhere_

_And I've been searching everywhere_

Clint was quick to place his hands on Loki's bare skin the moment Loki released his wrists, feeling his own warmth clash with the cold body that he would warm up soon. Loki had always had cold skin. Luckily, Clint knew the best and quickest ways to heat him up.

He ran his hands up and down Loki's back until he found that certain spot, pressing softly and making Loki arch his back. This caused their groins to bump into eachother, earning a soft huff of air from Clint and a hiss from Loki.

The dark haired man sat back on his legs and admired the muscled body in front of him. His hands crept underneath the t-shirt Clint wore, fingers ghosting over hot flesh and causing goosebumps to rise. With one quick movement, he tugged the shirt over Clint's head and began mapping out the skin with his tongue, earning huffs and moans from the man underneath him.

It was only moments later but Clint could have sworn it took forever for Loki to tug his pants off, by then he was a writhing mess, one hand tangled in Loki's loose locks while the leaner man bit at Clint's hipbones.

He looked up one last time, that flash of heat in his eyes that Clint always anticipated when they were together. "Do you want this?"

His voice was smooth like velvet, but it was still a question. Loki wanted to make sure that Clint knew what he was doing, not only for his own good but so that Loki wouldn't get blamed in the morning for taking advantage of Clint's emotional state. He supposed a better man would have stopped it all at the beginning, but Loki never claimed to be a better man.

"I want everything," Clint's words were accompanied by a tug on Loki's hair, earning a huff and then a deliciously dark smile.

_________________________________

"So, is this the part where I pretend to be asleep so you can ungracefully grab your clothes and make a quick exit, a silent agreement where we won't speak of this again?" Loki asked, Clint laying next to him on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths and there was a sheen of sweat over his tanned skin, all of it making Loki feel very proud of himself.

"No, this is the part where you shut up so I can go to sleep," Clint answered, rolling onto his side.

"That's just as well. I'd rather not have to listen to whatever it is that forced you over here for a quick tryst and a night away."

Clint groaned and soaked in the silence, wondering if he should rise to the bait of silence Loki was setting. Of course, it could also just be regular silence. One never knew with Loki. In the end, he cracked. "I came home and basically told Bucky and Steve that they could fuck right off."

"I hear no problems so far," Loki turned on his side and brushed soft fingers over Clint's defined bicep. He was even so nice as to lean down a place a soft bite on Clint's shoulder, earning him a scathing look.

"I don't know," Clint shrugged. "It felt right. It needed to be done. This isn't college anymore, this is real life. I'm not living on an archery scholarship and he's not trying to pull off the rebel look. I told them I'm definitely moving out though."

"So you've decided to take me up on my offer?"

Clint shook his head. "No, I think I need to be on my own for awhile, you know? I think I have a place in mind, actually."

"Tell me it's the Brooklyn listing."

"No, it's that place in Bed-Stuy," Clint told him, rolling over to face his friend. Loki groaned and dramatically covered his eyes. "Hey, it's not bad! It's not as nice as you and Nat would like, but I like it and if it's my place I've gotta wanna be there, you know?"

"Unfortunately, I do," Loki muttered. "Fine. Now that that's settled, I'm going to sleep."

"Whatever," Clint grunted, turning back on his side and tucking his hands under the pillow. They slept with their backs to eachother, bits of skin touching in various places. Clint was finally tired out, a yawn escaping his lips as his eyes drifted shut to the subtle sound of Loki breathing.

The next morning he woke with Loki gone, which was unsurprising, as Loki did actually have a job, though no one knew what it actually was. Clint was pretty sure it was something sketchy, but his own job was dangerous as hell, so who was he to judge?

The coffee pot had been left one, which he was eternally greatful for. It was the nicest Loki ever got when Clint spent the night, sex or no. The man went over and poured himself a cup of black coffee in a mug that had been brought there when Clint spent a majority of his time at the apartment. It meant something that Loki never got rid of it.

While sipping his coffee, Clint searched for his phone, which he realized he forgot at home in his haste to get out of there. With a sigh, he quickly chugged his coffee, ignoring the burn on his tongue and down his throat. He quickly went back into the bedroom and pulled on his hoodie, boxers and pajama pants. Yeah, he walked around naked in Loki's place, sue him. Soon enough, he could do it in his own house.

Clint took one last swig of coffee straight from the pot before walking out of the apartment. He locked it with the spare key that Loki kept on top of the doorway and then was on his way home.

It was a good thing he had taken his wallet so he could cab it last night, because there was no way he wanted to walk all the way back to his current apartment this early in the cold. So he flagged down a cab and quickly squirmed inside, rattling off the address to his favorite donut place.

Once there, he ordered a dozen donuts and took a different cab back to the apartment. His mood was significantly lighter with his decision made and a night of frustrations worked out. When he opened up the door the living room was occupied by Bruce, Thor and Bucky. Steve was in the kitchen, working on something resembling breakfast for the group.

"Clint," Steve breathed what sounded like a sigh of relief. "We were worried. You didn't answer any of our texts last night."

"I left my phone at home," Clint shrugged, walking into the living room and dropping the donut box onto the coffee table. Thor immediately flipped open the box and picked out a maple bar, while Bruce posed his hand above a donut questioningly. Clint gave him the okay and Bruce took a lemon filled one.

"I was actually not worried at all," Thor anounced, mouth full of donut. "I texted my brother and he assured me that you were fine with him."

"Yeah, Thor told me, but it would have been my guess, too," Bruce shrugged. The pair were engaged in some nature documentary about angler fish.

Clint could see Bucky stiffen at the mention of Loki, but said nothing. Clint cleared his throat and reached for a chocolate donut filled with creme, his favorite. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you while you guys are still here. I found a place over in Bed-Stuy and I think I'm gonna buy it."

 

"You can afford to buy your own apartment?" Bruce looked surprised.

"Yeah, I called in the cab and made a bid in cash. They were happy to accept."

Thor frowned at his quarter of a donut left before nodding his head. "I understand. I am sad to see you go, my friend. But I know you're reasons and I will support you in whichever endeavor you pursue."

"Thanks, buddy," Clint gave him a sincere smile. "I could actually use your muscles when I do the actual moving."

"Of course!"

"I'll help, too," Bruce smiled. "And I'm sure Tony will come over and help. You just know he'll wanna play with your Wi-Fi."

"Then it's settled," Clint plastered on a fake smile and went back into his room, munching on his donut. He almost spit it out when he realized how many texts he had missed not just from Nat, but from Coulson as well.

Sprinting across the room, he crammed the donut in his mouth, and began opening the safe where he kept his bow. With the weapon's case in hand, Clint threw the door open to his room and ran through the apartment, stopping briefly in front of the guys.

"Got a call. Work. See ya sometime!" Clint always gave a vague goodbye, since he never actually knew when he was leaving. Before leaving, he turned and addressed Bruce. "Can you connect with Loki and get the listing I was buying and make sure no one else gets it?"

"Whatever you need, Clint." Bruce nodded seriously. Clint knew Bruce was always trustworthy. With that, he swung open the front door, not even bothering to close it on the way out. He was too busy sprinting down the stairs and to the car that was waiting for him. Of course, he had texted Nat the moment he recieved all her messages and Coulson was kind enough to send a ride. Clint was hauled away, unaware of the curious and worried eyes watching from the apartment window.

_Cliches find a home inside of him_

_When he enters all of the lights go dim_

_He's so sure_

_He's got a tragic lifestyle_

_And I'm so sure I can make that man smile_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it. The next chapter will be a lot more of Clint/Bucky interaction. Also for those of you guys wanting Bucky to get his ass kicked by Nat, you'll be happy with the next chapter ;)
> 
> The song in this chapter is Try Tonight by Lana Del Rey


	8. I'll Be Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint gets hurt and Natasha meets the boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing. All rights go to Marvel and Jaymes Young.

_My past has tasted bitter_

_For years now_

_So I wield an iron fist_

_Grace is just weakness_

_Or so I've been told_

_I've been cold, I've been merciless_

_But the blood on my hands scares me to death_

_Maybe I'm waking up today_

Bucky wasn't gonna lie. The war was bad and he had seen some shit. He had seen his brothers shot down, friends blown apart, convoys ambushed. Hell, his own goddamn arm had been blown off, lost somewhere back in that desert. But nothing would ever prepare him for this.

The sight of Clint coming through the apartment front door, pants torn open on his right leg and bloody bandages wrapped around the majority of his thigh, left arm in a sling and a red-headed woman half-helping half-dragging Clint into the apartment.

"Nat, I can go to my own place," Clint spoke to the redhead, her face a mix of anger and worry.

"Fuck that!" She barked. "You're staying where someone can keep an eye on you twenty-four-seven."

"You can do that," Clint tried, but the woman was already shaking her head.

"I have to go back and finish the mission because you fucked it up and fucked yourself up right along with it!" Her tone was more worry than accusing.

Clint scoffed and turned his head away from her, almost ashamed. "Junior agent made a basic mistake. Coulda happened to anyone. Not gonna let the idiot die 'cause of it. What about Loki?"

"You!" Natasha raised a finger at Bucky, who had stood from the couch and was hovering silently nearby. "Don't just stand there like an asshole! Get the couch ready for him and grab me your first aid kit."

Bucky had no idea what was happening, but Clint was hurt and he had an order. With soldier like obedience, he ran into his own bedroom and grabbed the pillows and blankets off both his and Steve's beds, scrambling to the living room and padding up the couch into something more comfortable. He then instinctively went over to Clint's left side, where the red head was not. He laid one hand on Clint's lower back and his other reached across his chest, gripping Clint's ribs.

The pair of them helped him to the couch, arranging him into a position where his leg was raised, and his arm rested on a couch pillow. "What the hell happened?" Bucky barked at the woman, his worry overcoming everything else.

"Clint happened," She said angrily. "Didn't I ask for the first aid kit?"

Bucky nodded and rushed towards the bathroom where Thor kept a first aid kit. He brought it in and dropped it on the coffee table, flipping it open. Tony Stark was a walking accident and Bucky had never cursed his need for bandages and ointment more than he did now.

"Fuck, there's nothing here but Band-Aids and cough drops," Bucky hissed.

"Guys, chill," Clint held up his right hand. "The doctors took care of it. I'm fine."

"Clint, you took a buckshot to the leg and a got knifed in the forearm," The woman, Nat, reminded him.

"Jesus, Barton," Bucky looked at him. "What the fuck kind of work do you do? You're gone for three weeks and then you show up barely stitched back together."

"That's classified, Barnes," Clint finger-gunned at him with his good arm.

"You're James Buchanan Barnes?" The redhead looked up sharply.

"Uh, yeah," Bucky nodded, watching as her lips thinned out.

"Hey, Buck, I'm back," The sound of Steve arriving stopped any conversation from happening. He entered and took in the sight of Clint. "What happened?"

"Clint being Clint," Nat answered. "Who are you?"

"Steve Rogers, Ma'am," He answered promptly.

Nat seemed to deliberate, finally shaking her head and sighing. "I can't take care of you and you can't make it around on your own. Loki is on a yacht somewhere near Spain with some guy who looks like Jeff Goldblum. So, for now, you're stuck here with these guys."

"But, I don't wanna," Clint pouted.

"Then don't get shot and stabbed next time," She snapped back. Her phone beeped and the redhead whipped it out, reading over the text and then sticking it back in her pocket. "I have to go. Rogers, go to the store and pick up more supplies. His bandages must be changed every four hours and someone should help him change. His meds are in his pocket. Don't let him screw around or he'll tear his stitches."

"Yes, Ma'am," Both men said in unison.

She turned on her heel then hesitated, craning her head to look back at Bucky. It was a quick move that he didn't see coming at all, the fist ramming into his nose. She then turned just as quickly to Steve and jammed her knee into Steve's groin.

"That's for lying to Clint and leaving him after one night," She smirked and then walked away, leaving all three men in pain, though Clint was laughing quite hysterically.

"Ladies and gentlemen," He muttered, a smile on his face despite the pain. "The lovely Natasha Romanoff."

It took a few minutes for the men to get themselves right, after which, Steve did exactly as Natasha said and set out to get more supplies for Clint's wounds. This wasn't entirely a good thing as it left Clint in the hands (or hand) of Bucky. The same Bucky who was eyeing Clint wearily while the archer shuffled around on the couch.

"What the hell kind of work do you do, Barton?" Bucky finally asked, moving over to fix the pillows that Clint reclined against.

“I’m a Pilates instructor,” was his sarcastic reply. Bucky rolled his eyes, but nevertheless continued his actions to make Barton more comfortable.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” Bucky muttered as he fluffed a pillow. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving!”

“Great,” Bucky reached across the table to grab his phone and dialed the number for the nearest pizza place. He had just finished ordering two large pepperoni pizzas when Clint spoke up.

“It really is confidential,” He looked away from Bucky when he spoke. “I wasn’t just being an asshole. Unlike some people, I don’t just disappear for years and then reappear with some shitty excuse. I work for the government.”

“I didn’t want to leave,” Bucky snapped. “College just wasn’t for me and I had to follow Steve. Make sure the little idiot didn’t get in over his head.”

“And it’s always about Steve, isn’t it?”

“Don’t be like that!”

“Like what?” Clint looked back at Bucky, eyes narrowed and venom in his tone. “You’ve been gone so long, who’s to say this isn’t how I always am?”

“Because my Clint was never cruel,” Bucky scoffed, looking at Clint with incredulity.

“Well, I’m not your Clint,” The archer snapped. “I haven’t been your Clint for some time. You don’t know me, you don’t know shit _about_ me. So, let’s just leave it at that.”

The spy struggled to his feet and hobbled past Bucky, refusing to make any sounds of pain. Weakness wasn’t something he would show to Bucky. Once he closed his bedroom door behind him, a hiss of pain left his mouth and he flopped onto the bed. Steve would be back soon with new bandages, which meant that Clint should probably wash the blood from his skin sooner rather than later.

He went into his bathroom and turned on the water, sitting at the edge of the tub. His pants came off as did his t-shirt, but his boxers stayed on. Yanking a towel from the rack, Clint dropped it into the water, lifting it up and wringing it out. Gingerly, he cleansed the blood from his thigh. Suddenly, there was a shadow in the doorway.

Looking up, Clint locked eyes with Bucky, who now held a roll of gauze. There was a sick look on his face, as if he might vomit all over Clint.

“What the matter?” Clint glared. “Never seen a bullet wound?”

“Not on someone I cared about this much,” Bucky swallowed.

A scoff left Clint’s lips. “I’m honored you think so highly of me. Now if you’ll hand me the gauze,”

Bucky shook his head and knelt, earning a confused look from Clint. Gentle hands unwrapped the roll of gauze, going forward and wrapping it tenderly around the wounded leg. Clint almost protested, but he stopped when Bucky softly touched his skin, tying the bandages off and giving the leg a reassuring squeeze.

“I’ll leave you be,” Bucky gave a curt nod, standing and stopping in the doorway. “If you need anything, and I mean anything, you need only ask.”

Clint watched Bucky go with a furrow in his brow and his leg wrapped securely.

_For all of the light that I shut out_

_For all of the innocent things that I doubt_

_For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears_

_For all of the things that I've done all these years_

_And all_

_Yeah, for all of the sparks that I stomped out_

_For all of the perfect things that I doubt_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_And I'll love the world, like I should_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you liked it. Sorry it took so long to update. I'll be quicker next time.


	9. Back to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dance at the club may give Bucky the second chance he's been waiting for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I own nothing. All rights to Marvel and Selena Gomez

_Took you like a shot_

_Thought that I could chase you with a cold evening_

_Let a couple years water down how I'm feeling about you_

_(Feeling about you)_

_And every time we talk_

_Every single word builds up to this moment_

_And I gotta convince myself I don't want it_

_Even though I do (even though I do)_

Bucky wasn’t sure who’s idea it was. He thought it was Tony’s. That guy seemed eternally ready to party and he wouldn’t have a party without all his friends there. This included Clint, even though the guy was still recovering from the knife to his leg and could barely get out on the dance floor. But there was some greasy looking guy in a pure black suit doing his best to hold Clint up.

Bucky was doing his level best to ignore the guy, instead nursing a beer at the bar. Thor was laughing uproariously with Bruce, a whiskey in one hand. Banner, himself, was drinking a soda, as he wasn’t much of a drinker. However, one of Thor’s friends, a woman with a rather large mug of beer in her hand, by the name of Brunhilde had sauntered up to join their conversation.

“Still sitting on the sidelines, Barnes?” That cocky voice was so easily recognized. Bucky groaned internally and turned to face Stark. The billionaire was leaning back against the bar, a scotch in his hand and his eyes on Clint and the greasy guy. “Don’t have the guts to go steal Clint from Loki?”

“Is he with Loki again?” Bucky looked at the guy.

“Nah, he and Barton used to be fuck-buddies,” He said it so easily, as if it wasn’t riling Bucky up just looking at them. “I think now they’re just crisis buddies. Loki’s nailing some guy known as the Grandmaster. I don’t know, he looks like Jeff Goldblum.”

“I’m positive I’m not the first person to tell you to shut up, Stark,” Bucky risked a glare at Tony.

“True,” Stark shrugged. “But I’m sure I’m not the first person to tell you to grow a pair and talk to Barton.”

Bucky allowed himself a small smirk. “True.”

“Then hop to it.”

“Yeah, I don’t really think that he’d appreciate it now,” Bucky shrugged, leaning back. “He made that pretty clear a while ago.”

“Yeah, well,” Stark looked down at his glass, swirling it around a bit. “Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment, and they don’t really mean them.”

“Sure sounded like he meant it,” Bucky looked down at his own drink that was nearing empty. Suddenly, it was yanked from his hand and replaced with a new one. “Sack up and go ask the idiot to dance. Might relieve some of your pungent moping. Now!”

Bucky thought for a moment, and really, what did he have to lose? Knocking the drink back and shoving the empty glass in Stark’s hand, Bucky sauntered over to where Clint was clumsily dancing with Loki and cleared his throat. The pair looked up at him, surprised with eyebrows raised.

“Can we dance together?” Bucky stuck out his arm and offered a tentative smile. Just as Clint was about to reject him, Bucky took one step closer. “Come on, Clint. One dance? What have you got to lose?”

Clint and Loki shared a look before Clint grunted. “One dance.”

He took Bucky’s hand and the pair stepped away from Loki. Of course, at that moment, the song switched to a slower melody. Bucky wrapped his one arm around Clint’s waist while the archer reluctantly put his arms around Bucky’s neck.

“Did you mean it?” Bucky muttered.

“Mean what?” Clint asked, looking at some of the other couples swaying on the dance floor.

“When you said there’s no you and me?”

“Barnes, you left me.”

“I did it because I was scared.” Once again, Clint tried to interrupt but Bucky wouldn’t let him. “I was afraid that if I kept things going between us when I went over there, and something happened to me it would hurt you worse than a one-night stand would. I didn’t want to think how it would feel for me to die after a six-month relationship, versus one night.”

“Bucky, it would have hurt me for you to die over there anyway!” Clint huffed, eyes wide. “You were my friend! I loved you anyway!”

“I-“Bucky stuttered, face red. He nodded. “I’m sorry. I really am sorry. Can we- can we maybe start over? Go slow? At least be friends?”

Clint hummed for a moment before giving off an overly dramatic sigh. “I guess. I’m still moving out, but we can try and take it slow. Hang out a little. Maybe grab coffee.”

“That would be awesome!” Bucky smiled the brightest he had since coming home. His arm wrapped tighter around Clint’s waist until he heard a gasp.

“Ouch! Still recovering here, dude!” Clint half-heartedly glared at his dance partner.

“Oh, sorry!”

_We never got it right_

_Playing and replaying old conversations_

_Overthinking every word and I hate it_

_'Cause it's not me ('cause it's not me)_

_And what's the point in hiding?_

_Everybody knows we got unfinished business_

_And I'll regret it if I didn't say_

_This isn't what it could be (isn't what it could be)_

_You could break my heart in two_

_But when it heals, it beats for you_

_I know it's forward, but it's true_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hoped you guys liked it. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Anyway, the song I used is "Back to You" by Selena Gomez

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope no one was out of character in my attempt to make this a somber story. If so please kindly let me know. I am sorry if it was terrible but I appreciate you reading anyway. The next chapter will be from Bucky's perspective. So look forward to that, even though I'm not sure when I'll be posting. Thank you all so much!
> 
> The song is "Don't You Remember" by Adele


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